Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Review/Giveaway: Us

A WINNING READINGS GIVEAWAY!

Title: Us
Author: Daniel L. Tocchini
Genre: Christian nonfiction life/relationships
How to enter: Leave a comment on THIS post right here! If you're a subscriber or a follower, leave a second comment for a second entry.
Entry deadline: April 25, 2010
Restrictions: Open internationally!

That's right, enter right here for this giveaway.  This is my review copy, so it has been gently read.
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Publisher: David C. Cook
Physical Description: 208-page paperback
List Price: $14.99
ISBN: 978-1-4347-6473-7
For More Info/To Purchase: David C. Cook

Synopsis:
Daniel Tocchini doesn't want to improve your marriage. He wants to transform it. Or, rather, to show how some simple changes in your marital conversation—the way you talk to yourself and each other—can open your relationship up to God's transforming power.


Drawing on his personal experience and stories of couples he has coached, Tocchini offers a wealth of practical guidance to help you learn to live your marriage "in the light"—talking honestly, listening generously, confronting tricky issues, tuning in to each other's needs and yearnings, and breaking free of the self-centered "consumer thinking" that infects us all. Innovative, insightful, and thoroughly biblical, Tocchini's approach has helped thousands in his popular seminars. Whether your marriage is in deep trouble or just coasting along, you'll be amazed at what happens when you finally read the User's Guide that God intended.
About the Author: 
Daniel L. Tocchini has worked with more than 5,000 couples through personal marriage coaching and the unique and life-changing marriage seminars offered through his organization, the Association for Christian Character Development. An ordained minister, chaplain, author, and highly successful speaker/coach, he lives with his family in California.
What I Liked:  I'm a checklist kind of gal, so believe me when I say I've tried the checklist thing before in my marriage, which drives my husband crazy.  (In fact, I've asked HIM to make my checklist for me.)  It wouldn't be so bad if I could keep a manageable checklist, but it quickly becomes unmanageable and serves no purpose other than to point out all my inadequacies.

So I liked the fact that this wasn't a checklist book.  It was different.  I'm used to marriage books starting out by telling me that I need to change before my spouse will change.  This one starts out by telling me that nothing about me or my spouse needs to change.  Kind of radical, right?  And the author makes a pretty good case.

I very much appreciated the Christian perspective, and the big picture persective. In addition to things like forgiveness, starting new, and getting over our consumerism mindset, here are a few things I gleaned...

-It's important to not assume the reason for your spouse's actions.  I often feel judged for something I didn't even do or say, simply because my spouse assumes what I'm thinking or why I react a certain way.  And the shoe fits both of us.  Sometimes we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

-We need to look at ourselves realistically.  I personally have GREAT intentions.  I have lists a mile long of everything I want to get done.  Yet the reality is far different - I'm failing in doing even the basics...  I want to be judged by my great intentions and feel deeply hurt when I'm judged by my reality.  Gotta deal with that!

-I look at myself and see lots of things I want to change.  If I add this and this to my checklist, then my husband will appreciate me more and our marriage will be better!  But that's not what it's about - that's just surface.  We need to look forward to where we want to go, rather than in our review mirror at the things we want to change.

-I love the concept of "authentic trust" - which recognizes the possibility of betrayal and yet still chooses to trust.  It offers commitment and honesty, while recognizing that trust is fragile and must be tended carefully.

-And there are some fun strategies to try, like the "do-over" or the "inner nerd," that allow us to step back from ourselves and look at what's really going on.

Another thing I liked is that even if you are reading this alone (which isn't best case scenario), there is a lot you can take away.  You don't NEED your spouse's participation to benefit.

What I Didn't Like:  I'm a checklist kind of gal, and I didn't find that much in the way of checklists here.  (Notice any inconsistencies?...)  However, I did find a lot of examples and suggested strategies and even homework to take away, as well as the big picture transformation.  So it worked for me, even without the checklists.

Thanks to The B&B Media Group for the review copy of this book.


Posted by Jane at Mozi Esmé

40 comments:

Julia said...

I'm always looking for books to enrich my marriage. This sounds like a winner.

julesreffner(at)gmail(dot)com

Linda Kish said...

Sounds wonderful. I would like to give this to my son and his wife.

lkish77123 at gmail dot com

Linda Kish said...

follower

lkish77123 at gmail dot com

Benita said...

Self-help is necessary and encouraging. I'd love to read this.

bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com

Benita said...

Follower.

bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com

Simply Stacie said...

Please count me in.

simplystacieblog at gmail dot com

Simply Stacie said...

follower

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AmandaSue said...

Thanks for the chance.

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AmandaSue said...

Follower thanks.

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Nancye said...

Please count me in

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Nancye said...

Follower

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

Wanda said...

I would love to be entered in your draw. Thanks.
wandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com

Wanda said...

I subscribe via email and follow through Google Friend Connect.
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Anonymous said...

This looks like a helpful book.
debp
twoofakind12@yahoo.com

vmkids said...

Looks liek anybody could use this book

snowluvnferret said...

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mindy said...

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Anonymous said...

Please enter me.

Wendy
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Anonymous said...

I follow with google reader.

Wendy
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susan said...

I would love to read this to enrich my family life.

Nickolay said...

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Nickolay said...

follower

Nickolay

jason(at)allworldautomotive(dot)com

Anonymous said...

Enter me please

jim.coyne2@verizon.net

Melissa B. said...

This would be good for any marriage.

Renee G said...

Would love to read this.
rsgrandinetti@yahoo(DOT)com

theolotto said...

I like a informative book.

theolotto said...

Email subscriber.

Amy said...

sounds like a helpful book

purango said...

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susan1215 said...

Sounds like a good book

susan1215 said...

follow via GFC

Susan said...

Sounds like a very good book!

lknott said...

Every Marriage can use suggestions. It takes work to make it happen! Thanks for the chance to win!



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CATHIE said...

Please enter me. Thank you.

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ZESTYWONDERLAND said...

I would love to read:

Us by Daniel L. Tocchini
zestywonderland@gmail.com
Marcy S.

ZESTYWONDERLAND said...

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lilyk said...

Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!

lilyk said...

I subscribed to your blog.